Lost on the highway to Hell
first published 25 November 2005
LOST isn't on the highway to HELL 'cause Lost is in Scotland and Hell is in Norway. AHA (the Norwegian band) may find themselves a little confused however, when they discover they are in Japan (Okinawa Island). BONO of U2 fame should have no difficulty finding himself, Arkansas (USA) love him so much they named a town after him. No reflection on his ego what so ever.
Don't fancy growing OLD in Northamtonshire (UK) then move to BACHELORS BUMP (East Sussex, UK). No MUCKy (Inner Hebrides, UK) jokes about SHORE LANE (by the harbour in Aberdeen, UK) please.
Thought the EU was a union of states? Your oh so wrong, it's a town in Normandy, France. Which may be an ACCIDENT (Maryland, USA), but is the fact that HAM is a matter miles from SANDWICH (Kent, UK) mere chance?. Unfortunately if you want a BEER with your ham sandwich you'll have to get down to Devon (UK) by which time your sandwich could be covered in MOLD (Wales). To which you could say "what a MORON (Switzerland) I've been." Or "Oh PITY ME (Co. Durham, UK) I'm going to a WEDDING (Germany) and the bridesmaids will never give me TONGUE (SCOTLAND) if I eat this ROTTENEGG (AUSTRIA)."
That's it I just don't have the strength for more of this. But somewhere in the world is a bedroom festooned with amusing placenames ready to be arranged like fridge magnets.
If you found any of that even remotely amusing why not be good to yourself and buy one of our fair trade / organic t-shirts or baseball tops printed with the "Lost" sign post.
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